Baby Boomers Over 50 - Are You Part Of The Sandwich Generation Too?

By Marilyn Katz 

 

Are you part of the "sandwich" generation? Have you been squeezed by new demands upon your time and emotional resources so that sometimes it does not feel as if you have time for yourself? Many of us baby boomers waited to have children until we were older because we got an education completed and then went on to establish ourselves in a workplace. So we may find ourselves, even over 50, with kids at home. I cannot tell you how many times somebody has asked me if I was my youngest child's grandmother! It used to offend me, but then I though about it, and realized that I really was old enough to be his grandmother.

So we find ourselves, a bit older and maybe more tired, dealing with adolescents and teenagers, and maybe even younger children! Next, our parents are living longer, and we have very happy about that! However, as our parents get older they also seem to need us more. All of a sudden, the parents we leaned on, have turned the tables, and now they need to lean on us more. The people we consulted are consulting us. The parents who used to drive us around when we were younger are now asking us for rides.

And sometimes, as if we did not already have enough to feel guilty about, one generation resents the time we spend with the other! Grandpa does not want to give up center stage to our teenage son. Grandma wants us to help her with finances, and not spend time talking with little Suzy about her latest fashion coup! On the other hand, the kid's eyes glaze over when we insist that they spend time with the older folks. How do we assure everybody that they are the apple of our eye, while still holding onto our own sanity?

Well, the first thing you need to do is give yourself a break. If you cannot be objective and add a little humor to the situation, you are certainly not going to satisfy anybody, least of all yourself. Let everybody know how you see the situation, and that you are doing the best you can. Try to combine activities too. If you need to take Suzy to the mall, why not bring Grandma along? If little Mark has a band concert, invite Grandpa. He will probably enjoy it, and be proud to be included.

If you need to prepare meals, look for some convenience in the grocery store. Honestly, I have no problem buying a pre-cooked roast in the deli section any more. That, plus a bagged salad, makes a great meal! When you consider meat shrinkage, spoiled food, and the time you spend making your own famous pot roast, you really are not spending that much more money.

And last, of course, give yourself some time for a favorite activity or a night out with a spouse or friends. Let everybody know that you need your own time too. I think you'll find that your kids, and your parents, are not really that selfish. They just want to know that you love them, and that you will be there when they really need you. If they are secure of that, they are sure to cut you some slack.

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